it's another finally i realize how small i'm to this world, so much more around me i've never seen and so much out in this world i've never knew, time has given me a superbly slow tempo, and i can't cope with it, where am i now and how to tune back the resonance that keeps my heartbeat at ease that i've forgotten how to enjoy breathing. It's been so long since my last update, i went back to hometown and got so out-of-reach from my virtual ID, but supposedly i'm still the same, just something in my mind has thoroughly changed. My friends, sorry for being so ignorance all these times, i should promise not be so zhai-nan eversince i got back, after reading Weasley's novel that day, i've just realized something out from one of the quotes in the lines...
Don't be so particular about where you are and where you belong. Just let your heart takes you. Where your heart is, and there is where you are, and there is where you belong.
Where is my heart then? lol.
I think it's fairly understandable that i'm back yet i'm a bit out of track, i'm so familiar with all those things and all the important persons around me but that i'm becoming more stranger to them, it's so contradict and i hope that all these are just my confusion... turn back around and see... WALAO!..lol, ya, face the wall and think.~~
well i'm better to categorize all my summarized entries, so you can choose which to read and which to skip.
My Direction, Aspiration, and Determination
oh yea, totally lost with this category (not at all actually), to all who are still blindfolded by my words or whatever fake facts, i'm no longer a student from my current school, that casts a big blow at my direction and it's swinging swinging and ...swayed~ I'm interested in music, computer and all those art stuffs but thank you, even i tried to make drawing my favourite thing but i just don't make it to anywhere i wanted to, probably i'm not into drawing, this is somekind of conceptual thinking, i still like to design... (stupid huh). I thought of studying ICT, or better yet MasCom, or maybe just something people thinks i'm more suitable with, since i've got no clear idea of what i really want to become. Thanks friends, thanks mates, it's really comforting to know that you all are giving me positive responses when i actually feel quite disappointing, to all. I'm determined to become someone with more discipline and more responsiblity, my uncle proposed that i further study at Singapore Polytechnic, well thats some dream so far away that i've never dreamedd before (the next intake will have to wait until end of this year, if it is, what am i to do within this empty period? i'd work if IT IS). So my current available choices are Malaysia, SG or Australia. (nomatter which it is, i've gotta get myself a passbook for good o.o) Somehow, for some personal reasons and some really personal issues, i've had to keep some parts completely untold. If you are concerned or just curious of what and where i am, or better yet, know what and where i am, please contact me, my cellphone is running 24/7 all year...haha. Concerning this topic, i've got to stop here.
My Relationship (Friends, family, and the .)
alright yeah, all my old friends still remember me, just that i've not even inform them when i got back, well probably some other reasons are to be put to the blame, anyway lol, i'm just fine. Had a few big and small gatherings with all friends, close one and unfamiliar ones, barbeques and birthday karaoke sessions, some yumcha sessions and also some heart-talks, kind of enjoying my time with friends around me, though i still keep hold to my concept that i don't ask for more, my friends can be anywhere and i just need to know they are there loh. THANKS ALL MY FRIENDS! (p.s, special thanks to wanyee, zeechun, shiyin, jiamin). (p.p.s, a big sorry to orange, coz i din't know where i offended you and made you so irritated of me...) (p.p.p.s and a big welcome to someone who just became my friends, who used to be more than a friend. ) Family, and now i feel my relationship with my mum is much better than before since that case*, and when all my family know my problems and my dilemma, they din't look down at me but are giving me sincere suggestions and counsellings, somehow i do feel like how come i'm so fortunate to have so supporting friends and so supporting family members, coz i'm guilty of me disappointing either me and them. Aiks, loser. I love my family, my aunt, my counsins, my mum and everyone that actually never downgrade me, i'm still the old and obedient boy... oh, guy already, haha. Last part would be the YOU KNOW WHAT. Well, i would totally skip this since i don't want to talk about it, or anytime i talk about it i just need to stop since it is not welcomed to be listened, and i just have to assume you know and you understand. All i have to say is that how come i'm so not needed anymore? And my presence to YOU, the very special you, is so like a friend!! YOU KNOW WHAT, i treat you BETTER than i treat anyone around me, and you are responding to me like even my FRIENDS are more like the YOU KNOW WHO. It's whatever, i've done my part so i'm not putting any blame, you need to understand, patience and acceptance has it's break-point, don't keep doing things that makes me feel i'm just a junk, yea, you say you never tend to do anything that makes me feel so, but guess what, everything you do proves, and it's not necessary anymore for you to speak to me the three important words i ever ever needed when i'm so poor and lost. Thank God, you are with me always, and you have guided me all the way, Haleluja. And to all, my relationship is so calmingly calm, and i no longer cry or think too much for anyone or anybody, i'mdoing very fine myself, and i know i have you all with me, really thanks... thanks!!!
My Health, My Schedule
Oh being away from capital city is like a drop-down-the-well, i'm so outdated of world affairs... haha, better yet i'm rusty all over. Hmm, staying up late waiting for someone's time, the most precious time to me, had weakened my body, since maybe my lifestyle in KL was like a midnight-owl, but i've never been sleeping so late at my own home back here. Voluntarily, i've quit to keeping this habit, i tried to help that person maintain or to restore the late-sleeping habit, since i've failed my part, i could only help myself to not let people around me worry, i don't enjoy falling sick once and twice and well... not to talk about this, haha. I'm so bored at home, friends came asking me what do i do at home, i replied nothing. Hmm, i don't really know what am i to do at home, no network, no Astro, just feel like helping out mum and doing all i can to waste my time... since i can no longer stick so firmly to someone...hahahaha. Oh, times almost out, i'd stop here about my summary la.
That's all for today, and don't lengthen your neck for my next entry since i'm so unsure of myself when can i be able to online again. Lots to talk, if you know me and you read me, please reply somewhere here or there or just sms me la. thanks!
(P.S, precious missing to you : zhiling, ciel, carl, orange, joyce, and yea, the old markmark ;p)
(P.P.S, does anyone know where to post songs to? I've got bunch of new songs but i don't really feel like keeping them ...)
Ciao~ ^.^
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